101 Things I Would Vote For Instead of Donald Trump
1. A soggy smelly blanket.
2. A paper bag of broken hammers.
3. A foul mouthed parrot.
4. A box of musky snakes.
5. A child with a fake beard.
6. A broken bicycle.
7. A goldfish of considerable age.
8. A good natured Arby’s worker.
9. A Girl or Boy Scout.
10. A cardboard box of old magazines.
11. A tarnished set of golf clubs.
12. A broken set of dentures.
13. A cat with a drooling issue.
14. A theoretical element.
15. A deep sea diver.
16. A boulder that can fit through doors.
17. A wooden casket.
18. A certified technician.
19. A hat with tassels.
20. A former member of the military.
21. A pile of dead leaves.
22. A crew member from any primetime show.
23. A nanny with a clear background check.
24. A UFO.
25. A shabby urn.
26. A diabetic ostrich.
27. A delicious mango.
28. A lump of wet poop.
29. A plasticized corpse.
30. A nurse.
31. A C average high school graduate.
32. A rucksack packed with moles.
33. A mischief of rats.
34. A sock filled with peanuts.
35. A pile of random shoes.
36. A goose.
37. A flatulent donkey or ass.
38. A tiger cub.
39. A splintery baseball bat.
40. A tank of hydrochloric acid.
41. A rusted 1986 Pontiac 6000.
42. A tote of molded seasonal decorations.
43. A tourist trap.
44. A bag half full of wet sawdust.
45. A mismatched table and chair set.
46. A can of rusted nails.
47. A quiver of elderly asps.
48. A different reality TV star.
49. A Beatles album.
50. A few teeth.
51. A cigar box of broken crayons.
52. A dog of any breed.
53. A fake leather wallet.
54. A tube television set.
55. A 10 pound ham.
56. A book of pictures.
57. A computer from the ‘80s.
58. A retired boxer.
59. A cabinet with old clothes in it.
60. A basket of urine soaked bedding.
61. A chair with wheels.
62. A chair without wheels.
63. A janitor at NASA.
64. A collection of Conway Twitty cassette tapes.
65. A druid.
66. A jagged pawn shop sword.
67. A coffee soaked notebook.
68. A COVID infected pangolin.
69. A phonebook from Minnesota.
70. A hand bell set.
71. A fake Christmas tree.
72. A torn trash bag.
73. A deer with ticks.
74. A dancer from a Carnival cruise liner.
75. A framed poster of Chadwick Boseman.
76. A lake.
77. A rubber pool with holes in it.
78. A dead kangaroo.
79. A pressure treated fence post.
80. A person who can hold down a job.
81. A beanbag stuffed with dirty hair.
82. A cracked plate.
83. A frayed neck tie.
84. A cow covered in feces.
85. A bust of William Shakespeare.
86. A ball of twine.
87. A monogrammed towel.
88. A comedy joke.
89. A corpulent swine.
90. A bottle of mouthwash.
91. A flare pistol.
92. A lithograph of Geronimo.
93. A nest of wasps.
94. A soiled rug.
95. A book about chickens.
96. A sour pineapple.
97. A Japanese peace lily.
98. A repugnant horse.
99. A toupee.
100. A Joe Biden.
101. A Kamala Harris
Originally published at http://www.gonzotheater.com on September 18, 2024.
