An Out of the Hat Play
Copyright Jeremiah Liend 2023
This play was written for Out of the Hat produced by Bemidji Community Theater 7/7/2023 based on the following four random elements.
Location : Aisle 5 at the Grocery Store
Object : Great White Shark Fin
First Line : A fart is not an appropriate response to the question.
Actors : 3 Female 2 Male
Mom: An educated and frustrated parent.
Dad: An eloquent although rude parent.
Grace: A sophisticated and well read 8 year old.
Victoria: A reserved though insane 6 year old.
Arthur: A loose cannon maniac 4 year old.
Lueken’s Village Foods, Aisle 5
We are already two hours late
[The stage is empty as we find ourselves in the breakfast food aisle (5) of a grocery store. Enter the family in an ungainly mass. Dad has the shopping cart or basket, Mom is looking at her phone, Grace is reading a Mad magazine, Victoria is chewing gum and trying not to step on cracks, Arthur is careening around in a perpetual attempt at manifesting raw chaos. Mom looks up from her phone and sniffs the air.]
MOM: A fart is not an appropriate response to the question.
DAD: You asked what I thought about bran, it seemed like a clear non-verbal message.
GRACE: You’re gross, dad.
VICTORIA: Stinky daddy!
ARTHUR: STINKY DAD!!!
MOM: Children, please don’t bully your father in public.
DAD: Thank you.
MOM: But also you do smell bad; I wish you would shower.
DAD: A lot of people do.
[Arthur runs off stage.]
DAD: ARTHUR! Don’t run off where we can’t see you! And he’s gone.